


Don't go breaking my heart (I couldn't if I tried)

by Vivisuwus



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Break Up, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, Tags Contain Spoilers, high school sweethearts au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-05-31 11:39:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19425241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vivisuwus/pseuds/Vivisuwus
Summary: They say opposites attract but no one had expected Jake - one of the most popular and well-liked boys in school to bring Amy - the infamous teacher's pet to prom.*A peraltiago high school AU fanfiction, mentions of other characters and Dianetti*





	1. The way you move is like a full on rainstorm (and I'm a house of cards)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first chapter ever! Hope you enjoy!

“Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you’re Cu Te! Be my date to prom?” was exactly what Jake’s promposal said. He had come at 10 pm, standing outside Amy’s window whilst blasting Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift. At first she thought it was a joke – they’ve barely spoken two words together, and they’re total opposites. Why would a guy with such a social status purposely downgrade by going to prom with her? She accepted the promposal. She didn’t really know why, maybe to tease her brothers, or maybe because she may have had a tiny fantasy crush on Jake. Even if it was a prank she couldn’t be very affected since she literally didn’t have a social status, and if it wasn’t a prank it was her fairy tale dream.

  
\---

  
It was the prom night and the anticipation was real. To her own surprise, she’d kept it a secret for all of her family except her mother (she would never sneak out without anyone knowing). She couldn’t bear to think how her siblings would react if the whole thing was a scam, so she snuck out of the backdoor and was waiting at the driveway.

“Amy?”  
He was there. He came, and he came early and it was real.

“Yeah!”

His figure appeared from behind a bush, and he was dressed up for real as well. She couldn’t help smiling (it was real!!) He smiled back at her, and for a hot minute they just stood there taking each other in.

“You look beautiful!” he finally broke the silence.

“So do you” she could barely speak and this was unreal.

“M’lady?” He gestured for her to take his arm

  
They quickly locked arms and it tingled. She could smell his cologne and she loved the smell. Well, maybe it was more because of who wore the cologne. She wanted to come closer and be surrounded by it, but her pride got the better of her.

They made smalltalk to the limousine Jake and his friends had rented – to be fair, Amy didn’t even know with whom Jake hung out, and it’s even harder to know when he was on good terms with almost the entire school, which seemed impossible to Amy who was officially maybe getting her first friend (or more!) From the school tonight.  
When they entered the limousine she realized that she didn’t recognize any of his friends, which she must admit was kind of embarrassing of her.

“Hey Amy, I’m Charles!” a smaller man said.

“This is my date Eleanor-“ he gestured to a woman who was seemingly totally indifferent, but she did wave at her.

“I’m Gina, but I’m guessing you’ve seen me before” Gina had a very eye-catching glitter dress with matching heels, and it wouldn’t surprise Amy if she spent the entire night showing it off.

“My date is Rosa,” Amy actually recognized Rosa, she had been hiding in the corner, now nodding at her. But how can you not recognize the girl that never wears anything but black? Even today she had black pants and leather jacket.

“Nice to meet you!” Amy said to them.

She hadn’t let go of Jake yet. Should she slip out of his arm? That’s what she’s supposed to, right? She sat down next to Charles and let go of Jake. He took seat next to her.

Jake and his friends joked around the rest of the ride, and Amy observed. She didn’t know them of their humor, and she didn’t know Jake at all either. She tried chiming in occasionally, but it took a surprising amount of willpower to even open her mouth. She couldn’t wait to get out of the car and breathe freely.

When they finally arrived she was out first. She needed the air, and Jake followed her right out.

“You okay?”

“Just needed air, thanks” she smiled at him.

He just looked in her eyes and took her arm and they walked to the entrance. The silence was weird. It wasn’t really awkward, but it wasn’t totally comfortable either. It was filled with the anticipation of the night was just in the air, and when they entered it felt as if the room silenced. Well, it kind of did. People started staring and whispering, which is expectable when the school’s possibly most well-liked student goes to prom with the infamous teacher’s pet.

Jake broke the arm lock and his hand found hers. He squeezed it and it felt as if her hand had been shocked. It was a reassuring “it’ll be okay” kind of squeeze, but it just made her heart skip a beat. She looked at him and was met with a smile that seemed so soft and genuine and it made her feel as if she’d be alright for forever.

They walked in. Jake seemed totally oblivious to the general reaction of their date and walked on with confidence, while Amy found it a little harder. They took photos.

“Is it okay if I do this?” he wrapped his arms around her neck for the couple photo

“Yeah of course!” She smiled. her whole body felt like it would explode when he touched her so much. In a good way, of course, her body tingled with excitement and her stomach was boiling over with joy.

The photo was taken and if she had to be honest, it was really adorable. Jake was smiling with his entire face at the camera and he looked genuinely happy, as did she.

“Perfect!” Jake beamed.

“Totally going on the fridge.” She said.

“Aw you’re hanging a picture of us up for your entire family to see?”

“ .. maybe not,”

“You just set my hopes up, Santiago, you’re not letting me down now” they laughed.

The rest of the night went a lot better than the beginning, and Amy found herself having a great time with Jake and his friends. Maybe she’d stare a bit much at Jake, especially when something funny happened but his smile and laugh made her melt and she absolutely adored just listening to him. So maybe her tiny little fantasy crush had grown a good bunch that night – so what? He feels the same way, right? Why else would he ask her to prom?

The night ended sooner than she’d liked and they were all heading back. Gina and Rosa had snuck in alcohol and were pretty drunk – and in love. They had been talking all night (well, Gina had done the talking) and now they were full on making out in the limousine too drunk to care.

Eleanor had left Charles early in the prom and he, of course, was absolutely devastated. He was just laying face down on the seats silently sobbing.

Then there were Jake and Amy. They talked a lot better than earlier and their conversations had grown a lot more comfortable really quickly. But soon the night would come to an end, and who’s to say if she’ll ever talk with any of them again? It was too much worrying and right now she was just taking everything in.

Her house was the first stop, and Jake went off with her to follow her home.

“Did you have a good time?”

“Yeah of course! Thank you so much for bringing me” they were at her house.

“Any time” he winked at her and she couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“No seriously, do you wanna go out another time?” she didn’t expect this. Well, he did invite her to prom which was already asking her out. And really, she was flattered that he wanted to do it again.

“Of course! You just text or something,” his expression had gotten more serious and he was taking in her face. She noticed how his eyes did rest a little on her lips. Fuck it she thought and carefully took his shoulders as she reached to kiss him.

She was met with soft, willing lips, but the kiss never got deeper.

They were just two kids caught up in the moment.


	2. My mind forgets to remind me (you're a bad idea)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're switching POV, people! I think I'm gonna do that every chapter.

Jake just kissed Amy Santiago. He had kissed Amy. She had gone inside her house with such a blinding smile that he didn’t even know existed. How could a smile that heartwarming exist? He must admit, he wasn’t sure how she would react when he asked her out. He asked out the girl most of his friends found annoying or stuck up, while he found her kind of cute. When his friends noticed what he thought of her, they obviously were going to make him ask her out, so why not dare him to take her to prom?

The planning of the prom was rocky. How do you make a promposal to a girl you don’t know? Well, he knew she liked studying. A lot. School was important to her, so he googled “nerdy promposals”. To make the whole thing more personal he played one of his favorite songs by Taylor Swift. Throughout the actual prom night he got to know Amy more and there wasn’t a thing about her he didn’t like. The way she tucked her hair behind her ears when he came close, the way her eyes lit up when she talked about what she liked.

The ride home after Amy left wasn’t exciting: Gina and Rosa were still caught up in each other, and Charles was now full-on crying. Jake wanted to text Amy, but would that seem desperate so soon? Well obviously. But he had nothing else to do and he didn’t have much to lose. Swallowing his pride, he texted her. The conversation started quickly and it didn’t even stop when he got home. She told him about her brothers and he told her about his father. Normally, he didn’t feel comfortable talking about him but with Amy, it felt.. right. It felt like it was okay to open up a little more and okay to be vulnerable. When Jake dropped down on his bed he called Amy, and they continued to talk until his phone died at 4:15 AM. He’d be willing to talk to her forever and her voice felt like a drug to him. He was getting addicted to her, everything about her.

He wished he could say he regretted staying up so late when there was still school the following day, but he didn’t. Not that it was a strange thing sleeping so late, it was strange to have an actual reason. Right when he woke up he wanted to talk to her again, but he’d see her at school anyways.

Throughout the day he saw her multiple times, but she always seemed to disappear right when he got to her. When she wasn’t in the cafeteria at Lunch, he began his search for her. Where would Amy spend her lunch? An obvious answer would be the library, so he searched there. When he didn’t see her he concluded that Amy wouldn’t risk spilling on the books, so he looked outside.

He found her sitting by a great oak with the school out of sight.

“there you are!” he said. She smiled at him.

“Hi” she patted the grass next to her, inviting him to sit.

“I couldn’t find you” he took seat next to her, their shoulders meeting.

“I always spend lunch here” his eyes met hers, the sun furrowed her eyebrows. There was a small silence.

“It’s nice” he smiled at her.

“What?”

“This place” he explained and she nodded.

“Yeah. I don’t think people know of it and it’s always quiet. It’s a nice break, yeah. The way it’s far enough from the school that birds are singing and close enough so I don’t have to run to class”

her eyes lit up as she spoke and it ignited something within him. A warmth spread in his chest and as inappropriate as it felt, he wanted to kiss her smile.

“Do you wanna go on a date with me?” the words fell out of his mouth. He wanted to go out with her but asking her now didn’t seem ideal and he cringed when he realized the slip up.

She smiled and nodded enthusiastically at the question. God, she was kind of strange but he found it so adorable so he couldn’t help but grin himself.

“Yes! I know this is kind of weird, but can we not talk in-between classes? At least for now?”

“Yeah.. okay coolcoolcool” He wanted to talk to her. A lot. He wanted the school to know that he wasn’t embarrassed by bringing her to prom.

“Its temporary though!” she had probably sensed how he wasn’t all in on the idea.

“I’m working on getting extra credit and I’m afraid if Holt sees us he’ll think I’m not giving my all”

“Oh cool so it’s only around Holt..”

“Maybe the days he’s at school? I’m not risking anything. He’s not here Mondays and Wednesdays”

“Why do you even know that?” she chuckled at that and he swore life would always be alright.

“That’s something you know when you do extra credit work.”

“Oh right”

They walked to class together and his hand naturally found hers. She smiled softly at him and he did the same at her. Holt could suck it! Professionally, of course.

Jake was in his own world until Amy suddenly let go of his hand and pushed him away. The action followed by a salute and normally he’d find it hilarious but he was still in shock and lying on the floor.

Then he looked at what Amy was looking at and it started making sense.

“Santiago, what are you doing?” Holt looked back and forth from Jake and Amy, and Jake wanted to just sink down in the floor and not be seen anymore.

“Uhm, Jake was showing me to the bathroom, sir” the holes in that story were big enough for even him to see through. He brought himself up slowly being as quiet as possible.

“Why would you go to the bathroom after lunch?” well, that wasn’t what Jake would’ve asked but fair enough.

“It is okay if you have romantic relations, Santiago. I am happy for you, I think it will be good for you” Amy was speechless.

“Uh thank you, sir!” was apparently all she managed to say. Jake got back to her and his hand reclaimed hers. He grinned at Holt who surprisingly gave him a slight acknowledging nod in return. Jake turned to Amy with his mouth wide open.

“He approves of us!”

“He does!” she beamed back at him. God, he wanted to kiss her. Or just hug her. He wanted everything with her. But Holt was still watching and the PDA was probably a bit much for Amy at this point.

“Tomorrow at my place?” he asked.

“What?”

“The date! Tomorrow at my place?”

“I don’t know where you live..” she admitted.

“I’ll text you” saying he was excited would be an understatement. That was when she did it again. Took his shoulders and pecked his lips. His heart felt like it was on fire and his shoulders were melting.

“See you tomorrow, then!” she beamed and walked away quickly. Only now he noticed the people in the hallway who had witnessed the whole thing. Half of them had lost interest and the other half were looking strangely at him, and he swore he could see people handing each other money. He couldn’t really care less: whenever he was with her he seemed to grow totally oblivious to the surrounding world.

God, was he falling for her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah the fluff. The smut and angst WILL come eventually, though!!


	3. You are the best thing (that's ever been mine)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's smut in this one!!

  
People moved out of the way for Amy as she quickly walked to her next class. She could feel her cheeks burning and ache from smiling. She had actually kissed Jake again and it still felt magical. She had even done it in front of Holt which, even though it was a strange kind of empowerment, she would never do it again.

The rest of the day went impossibly slow. She tried her best to concentrate and take notes but it was incredibly difficult with all of her thoughts roaming freely in her mind. She was losing control, she needed her dividing line between personal and school and right now Jake was making it a total mess. He was even in her class in the last period, and their gazes often met each other’s with matching smiles.

She didn’t get to speak to him after school at all because Charles (who sat next to Jake in the class) was bombarding him with lively conversation and questions. He seemed to have gotten over his prom date quickly compared to how he was absolutely devastated just a day before. Instead of joining them she headed straight home, ready for the weekend.

It was late morning when Jake finally messaged his address and they set a time. She spent the rest of the day reading Anne of Green gables as it was her go-to book for calming down and her mind could be described as an immense clutter. When the date neared she took a shower but didn’t do much of her appearance. She knocked on his door 10 minutes before they scheduled it.

“Hey Ames!” he opened the door. She’d never been called that before, had she? Maybe she hadn’t noticed. She did like it, though. A lot.

“Hi!” he let her inside.

“You can just set your stuff here,” he gestured to a clutter of coats and shoes in the corner, and even if it annoyed her a LOT she set her coat, bag and shoes.

“My mom isn’t home so I thought we could order pizza and watch a movie or something?”

“Sounds great!”

So, that’s what they did. They watched training day and neither of them could really remember how exactly they ended up cuddling. Not that anyone was complaining. They shared a pizza and a few kisses and that was the date.

The following months went a lot like that. They did small dates often, especially in the summer break when they had the time. Or, more specifically, when Amy had the time. With her family and arrangements it was harder for her to find free time.

They went into their senior year of high school, and Amy had never been so happy. She’d never known what she missed out on when she isolated herself from other people, but now that she had Jake and his friends (who are hers now, too) she felt much more heard and appreciated. A thing she however found a little annoying is how her mind had begun wandering off to more _explicit_ areas of her relationship with Jake. They hadn’t done anything beyond light kissing, and though it was hard for her to admit, she’d like a _little_ more than what they were doing.

They were at Jake’s home watching Lethal weapon on his bed when she decided to go for it. They were sitting together against the wall for support, Amy leaning into Jake.

“Hey Jake?” he looked at her. “Hmm?”

She kissed him. And it wasn’t like any of their other kisses at all, it had something more to it making her want to lean completely into it. His hand made its way to support her neck and with the other he held her hair, and she put hers on his cheeks. The kiss quickly deepened and she pushed him over making her sit on him. He pushed her away for a second.

“Do you wanna go all the way?”

She nodded.

“Have you done it before?”

Well.. she hadn’t. This was her first real relationship, and she felt like it was right with him.

“No.. have you?” to be honest, she already (maybe) knew the answer. She had seen him with other girls before and it wouldn’t surprise her if he’d done it before.

“Yeah.. it’s okay, you just let me know if you want to stop”

She nodded and met his mouth again. It was slower this time, they seemed to take each other in and take their time. She played with the hem of his shirt until she pulled it off, taking hers off shortly after. When she bent down to kiss him again he took her arms and pinned her down. They both ended up stripping completely and the sensation when he entered her was indescribable. She was the first to release right before him. As he went to throw out the condom, she got dressed again. Being naked like that she felt extremely vulnerable.

“Oh we’re doing that” He commented.

“Uhm yeah I feel vulnerable naked”

“You know I literally was inside you 30 seconds ago?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t change how I feel.”

“Fair enough” he got dressed as well, and they continued watching the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't we just love awkward encounters? I know I do. I'm excited for the next chapters.


	4. All The Kingdom Lights Shined (Just For Me And You)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a little longer to post this.

“Hey babe, I got tickets for the aquarium, do you want to go?” Amy asked Jake at the lunch table.

Charles sighed dreamily. “You call each other babe,”

“Yeah of course, when is it?”

Gina looked disgusted at Jake and Amy. “You’re really going to watch imprisoned animals for entertainment?”

“I guess I never saw it that way..” Jake admitted sheepishly.

“Me neither.. The tickets were a gift from my aunt and it feels like a waste if I don’t use them.”

“You do you boo, don’t let me stop you” Gina finished whilst seemingly having a staring contest with her phone. Amy looked questionably at Jake.

“Yeah, I’ll still go”

“Great!” she smiled. He’d seen it so many times yet he’d do about anything to see it again.

“You guys are such a great couple” Charles commented dreamily, which Jake and Amy groaned slightly at, but Amy’s eyes still seemed to light up a bit at the comment.

\---

  
“I didn’t know catfish looked like that” Jake admitted. “Well, that explains a lot.”

When Amy didn’t react to him, he realized she seemed kind of distant.

“Ames? Are you okay?

“Yeah.. I read this article about Orcas in SeaWorld and how bad their living conditions were and it made me wonder if it’s like that for the fish here as well”

“If this makes you uncomfortable we can go home”

“I think we owe it to see more of this. I want to see more”

“’I want to see more' title of your sex tape” Amy punched him teasingly at that which encouraged him to grab her by the waist and pull her into a kiss, which she leaned into. God, he loved her. Well, they hadn’t shared their first 'I love you's yet but it might be about time. He definitely did more than just like her.

She hesitated a few seconds in the kiss and abruptly stopped. “Sorry, PDA” she looked embarrassed.

“Then let’s hurry up watching these imprisoned fish so we can finish back home” He had started calling his house 'their home' as it was the only place they hung out privately. He had never actually been inside her house, and her many brothers and traditional father absolutely terrified him, so they just stuck with his place as it was usually calm and quiet and they had their privacy.

“Yeah about that..” She begun. Those words were a recipe for disaster, and that’s something Jake had always known. “I kind of told my family I’d introduce you today,”

“Uh..” She immediately saw the fear in his face.

“Jake, it’s been four months. I’ve met your family and I want you to meet mine.” She did have a fair point. She’d gotten on good terms with both his mother and nan which meant a lot to him, so it seemed only fair that he met her family as well.

“Okay! I’m in,” he said trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible.

So, after about an hour of looking around the aquarium the dreaded moment came and they went to Amy’s house. As they stood in front of the door, Amy just turned to him and fixed him up. By that she zipped his hoodie all the way up, set his hair and tied his shoes.

“You know I’m even more intimidated now?”

“It’ll be alright!” she went inside and he followed, closing the door behind him. They were immediately greeted by her mother who excitedly shook his hand. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Jake! I’m Camila”

“Nice to meet you, Camila!”

As they went further into the house more people came. It was overwhelming having that many people rushing towards and introducing you, and it felt sort of like a game, the levels getting harder for each person. And then there was the boss, Victor Santiago. Jake went to shake his hand right away. He looked at him with an unreadable expression until Amy followed troop and greeted him with a salute and a hug, which Victor seemed to like.

“Dinner’s done in a minute, you can show Jake around, Mija” Camila called from the kitchen.

“Okay,” so Amy showed him around. Amy’s room wasn’t very big, but there was made sensible use of the space. She had nothing on her walls but a pinboard above her desk with symmetrically aligned calendars, notes, drawings and photographs. He recognized one from the prom night.

“That’s us! I didn’t know you kept it”

“Of course I kept it! I hung it up a few weeks after prom”

Beside the pinboard there was nothing more personal in her room. Everything was neat and simple, and it could easily be mistaken for a guest room.

“I think Dinner’s ready” they went down to see the whole family waiting for them, and to Jake’s luck he was to sit next to Amy. He felt like he could finally relax when he was about to eat, but Victor began shooting questions at him.

“So, Peralta. How did you meet Amy?” Man, being Amy’s first boyfriend wasn’t fun. Being practically interrogated with the entire family watching.

“Uh I’d seen her at school and I liked her so I invited her to prom and we’ve been together since” he could see a bit of shock on a lot of faces in that moment, and a lot of the brothers began whispering or quietly discussing it.

“You went to prom?!” his voice was slightly raised at Amy.

“Well, yes.. Mom knew, it’s not all on me!”

“I thought you hated prom!”

“That’s because she had never been invited” one of her younger brothers participated. Beside Jake Amy seemed to sink into her chair and looked very uncomfortable.

“Let’s just change the subject” Camila said, and immediately the room was quiet again.

“Right. So, Peralta. What are your intentions with my daughter?” Amy almost spit out her drink.

“I don’t have intentions with her, sir, she’s her own person and I like being around her.” Victor nodded acknowledging and Camila looked adoringly at him.

“alright then. So, what are your college plans?” uh. He’d rather have talked with Amy about that beforehand, but that wasn't really an option anymore. He took a breath.

“I'm not going to college.” The gasps this time were from everyone. They really all took their education really seriously, and the idea of not getting a college degree shocked them. He could feel Amy tense up beside him.

“What do you mean you’re not going to college? What are you going to do with your future?”

“Well, I’m going to the police academy instead. I’ve thought a lot about it, and the costs of college just aren’t worth it when it doesn’t really help with the career I wanna pursue”

Victor seemed to digest his words. He didn’t look as disapproving anymore, which helped Jake relax more.

“That sounds reasonable. Amy, on the other hand, is going to Harvard or Yale.” It looked as if Amy was about to sink right back into her chair, and he understood. He wouldn’t like having a family member boast about which college he was going to either.

“That’s great,” was all he managed to say. The rest of the dinner was relatively quiet with the occasional comment or small talk, which Jake found much more comfortable than the so-called interrogation. After the dinner, Jake and Amy went to hang out in her room.

“I’m sorry he was like that” she apologized. “He’s just overprotective.. I’m his only daughter, after all”

“It’s okay. I’d probably be the same if it was me” he admitted, meeting her eyes. She smiled at him and that was his trigger. He had to kiss her now, so their lips met in a soft kiss that was interrupted by Jake’s phone ringing. They parted.

“I’m sorry” he said and took his phone. After a hot minute of his eyebrows furrowing he ended the call.

“My dad’s home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh nooo


	5. Can't turn back now (I'm haunted)

“What do you mean your dad’s home?!” his father had screwed him over so many times, she wouldn’t let him do it again.

“He’s there. He’s back home.” His voice was shaking. There was a hint of excitement and his lips curved into a slight smile as he suddenly forgot all the pain his father had brought upon him and his mom. As if a spell of forgetting was cast upon him.

“He’s here!” his voice was strong now and he was full on smiling, pulling her in for a hug but she pushed him away.

“Babe, you can’t do this to yourself! Don’t you remember all the times he screwed you over?” he didn’t even seem to hear her words and it frustrated her.

“He’s not gonna do that, you don’t know him! If he didn’t care he wouldn’t come back”

“That’s what you said last time as well!”

“You weren’t there, Amy,” his smile was gone, his voice raised and she shivered at him using her real name.

“No, but you’ve told me how heartbroken you were each time he left again! Who says he’s not going to do that?”

“He said so. He told me it was real this time.”

“Jake-“ it was now his turn to shiver. “-I’m not letting you screw yourself over like this.”

“Then don’t.” he headed towards the door.

“Jake-“ she followed him.

“Goodbye, Santiago.” The way he used her last name made her stop in her tracks. She couldn’t take it anymore. When he closed the door after him, she was frozen. Her heart felt like it dropped to her stomach by being so heavy and tears quietly wet her cheeks. She tumbled back onto her bed and pulled herself under the covers.

She stayed that way the entire Saturday. And Sunday. She felt nauseous, but she kept on binging ice cream and soap operas, until she encountered Taylor Swift. She remembered the way Jake had promposed to her with Taylor Swift, how his eyes always lit up when her songs played on the radio and how he so desperately wanted her to like her songs too.

So, she played her album Speak Now. On repeat. Too many times to count. Until she stopped and played one of the songs on repeat instead.

_I used to think one day we’d tell the story of us_

  
_How we met and the Sparks flew instantly_

  
_People would say “they’re the lucky ones”_

_I used to know my place was a spot next to you_

  
_Now I’m searching the room for an empty seat_

  
_‘Cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on_

_A simple complication_

  
_Miscommunications lead to fall out_

  
_So many I things I wish you knew_

  
_So many walls up I can’t break through_

Whenever she heard the song she thought of them as a couple. She didn’t know if they were still a thing, and she didn’t know if she wanted them to be. The way he had raised his voice at her seemed to shatter the perfect illusion she had of him, and now he simply seemed naïve. Why did she introduce him so soon? Maybe her parents had seen him leave like that. If they had, they probably knew what was going on. What would her father say? The thought of that made her never want to leave her room, which was basically how she was living now.

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now_

Initially she had thought the song was a cheeky song about her perfect relationship but now that she listened to the lyrics it all seemed totally different. She couldn’t bear the way every word Taylor Swift sang flushed memories of Jake over her, and she had a headache building up.

Monday seemed exactly the same, and going to school didn’t even cross her mind. Every time she thought of him she felt nauseous. Which made her nauseous most of the day. No one in her family had said a word to her (to her luck), but her mom had gone in her room with a bucket after seeing her rush to the bathroom to puke multiple times. One time when she went to restock on food she met her father in the hallway. He didn’t look at her with pity or resentment, he just seemed genuinely hurt for her. She had just gone straight into his arms and she didn’t know how long she stayed there. The rest of the week seemed to be the same, some days her fever was barely there and other days she was practically on fire. She hadn’t bothered looking at her phone and she didn’t want to. If someone had tried to contact her, it had to be either Jake or his friends and she couldn’t do that to herself.

She went back to school the next Monday as her fever had disappeared and she did her best to tune out what people were saying about her. She really tried to ignore the people giving money to each other when they saw her, she really tried to ignore the whispers, but it made her regret ever laying an eye on him.

It was Tuesday she saw him, and it was Tuesday she said her first words in a week, discussing her work and absence with Holt. She was able to keep up her good grades, but it required a lot of hard work which preoccupied her now free weekends. When she headed to her old lunch spot, it was occupied. She felt lost and didn’t know where to go, so she went back to the cafeteria. She saw his friends. They saw her, Charles glancing sadly at her, Gina looking totally indifferent and Rosa nodding reassuringly at her. Then she saw _him_. Their eyes locked, and she hoped he didn’t notice how she hadn’t washed her hair in days and how her dark circles had become more prominent. When he changed direction and hastily walked towards her she could feel her heart beating fast. All of her instincts told her to turn on her feet and run, but she didn’t.

“You were right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song she listened to was "The Story of Us" by Taylor Swift (obviously).
> 
> Fun fact: I've only been listening to the Speak Now album for 4 days straight and all chapter titles are Taylor Swift (most from Speak now as well)


	6. Turns Out Freedom Ain't Nothing But Missing You

His father was there for a day. He wished he had listened to Amy, wished he hadn’t left her, but what was done was done and now she wasn’t picking up her phone. He had never actually listened to Taylor Swift during a breakup, and her lyrics now felt like they were cutting in his heart. 

_I’d tell you I miss you but_ _I don’t know how_

_I’ve never heard silence quite this loud_

Sunday felt awfully lonely. His father had left them again. His mother was crying in the bathroom again. Amy wasn’t answering his messages. He had tried visiting her with flowers, but when he rang the doorbell her mother had answered and told him to leave. He was heartbroken, and he’d do anything to have her back in his arms again. His friends had tried to cheer him up, but nothing seemed to make him happy anymore. 

_The_ _battle's in your hands now_

_And I would lay my armor down_

_If you said you’d rather love than fight_

He remembered how she’d always boast about never having absence, and now she hadn’t been to school in a week. He wished he could talk to her, but even if she went to school it wasn’t a guarantee. When he first saw her Tuesday, it felt as if his heart was going to burst. He was on his way to their table at the cafeteria when he saw her. She was looking at the table she once had a seat at, her eyes sparkling with tears. He desperately wanted to hug her again, to console her, but that wasn’t fair to either of them. When she saw him heading towards her, he saw the fear in her eyes. She took a step backwards. He kept it short. 

“You were right” 

_So many things that you wish I knew_. 

“I’m sorry Ames, but I really believed- “ 

She scoffed at that. “We could’ve worked it out and now you’re just defending yourself?” 

“Uh well-” He said sheepishly. 

She didn’t even stay to listen. She had turned on her heels and almost ran down the hallway. 

_But the story of us might be ending_ _soon_

“Well that went great,” Gina said as he took seat at their usual table. 

“What did you do to her?” Rosa asked. 

“I don’t know … I left her to see my father and she tried to convince me he’d leave again,” 

“He did, didn’t he?” Gina asked. 

He answered with a nod, and they ate in silence. 

For the rest of the week, Amy didn’t say a word to them. Their eyes would meet in the hallways, sometimes even linger, but they didn’t talk. His longing for her voice gradually disappeared and his friends began fading away when the clubs started. He wanted to join something, but he didn’t know what he wanted. His free time consisted of TV show after TV show until a show inspired him. After watching Glee, he decided he would join his school’s Glee Club, but as he went to join, it didn’t exist. His school didn’t have a Glee Club. He went with Theater Club as it was still entertainment and it wouldn’t surprise him if they did musicals or incorporate songs in the plays. 

Jake enjoyed theater club, and time passed with ease as they rehearsed for their Christmas play The Sound of Music. One of the girls, Sophia, from the club became his friend, and she soon joined the lunch table. When she left to go to the bathroom, Jake asked them of what they thought of her. 

“Sophia’s great, but she’s not Amy. Are you sure you’re ready to be with her?” Charles asked. 

“I am over her and we’re just friends!” Jake clarified. 

“Sure you are.” Gina said. 

“We are!” 

“That’s what I said.” She didn’t sound convinced. 

“What are we talking about?” Sophia had returned, her hair falling perfectly on her shoulders. She sat down on her seat, looking down to make sure her skirt sat properly. He hadn’t noticed before, but that was where Amy used to sit. Where was she sitting now? Out by the tree? When Sophia turned to face him again, her brown eyes had become Amy’s. Her face seemed to be shifting, and when he tried to look at Rosa instead, she was Amy. He couldn’t see anything but her, it made it hard for him to breathe. The air smelled like her perfume in sickening doses. He jolted up and sprinted to the exit, each person looked more like her than the last. He bent in half grabbing his knees when he reached the outdoor area and the fall breeze caressed his cheeks. 

“Are you okay?” It was her. He had thought he could live forever without her voice, but when he heard her the façade seemed to crumble. 

He looked up and nodded as an answer. Everyone had appeared to be her just a few seconds ago, but she looked much more real now. Completely covered in warm clothing, mittens and a scarf. He remembered how she was always cold, how she would hug him just to feel his warmth. Now it was mid fall, not even especially cold, and he was replaced by a heavy coat and big sweaters. She smiled shyly at him and went inside. 

He was glad he’d joined a club. Even in the club his thoughts would wander to places he’d rather not, but Sophia or the play would bring him back to reality. It scared him when he thought of how he’d be off without the club, now it seemed like a necessity to keep sane. Sophia followed him out of Theater. 

“Do you want to get coffee sometime?” She asked. 

“But you don’t like coffee?” 

“I don’t, I’m asking you out,” He had to think a bit about it, but he would probably never get entirely over Amy if he didn’t just dive into a relationship. Eyes closed, head first, can’t lose... right? 

“Yeah that sounds nice!” 

“Great!” She smiled at him and he smiled back. She had a nice smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes the way Amy’s did. Oh god, couldn’t he just stop thinking about her? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late update! I haven't been happy at all with my chapters but I'll try to finish this!


	7. Could've been easy (all you had to do was stay)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this one is Jake's POV again.

November came, and the theater rehearsals blocked out all of Jake’s free time now. Jake and Sophia had lousily planned a date, but as they both had rehearsals, it made it even harder to find a free date. Their few free weekends were booked (or Sophia’s were, he had nothing to do). They spent time together in rehearsal and on set as she played Maria and he played the Captain, which made up for the date they couldn’t arrange. If it was Amy instead of Sophia, she’d have found a free spot in their schedules in no time, but Sophia wasn’t Amy. That wasn’t a bad thing, either. 

By December they had found a date. Since the play was in early December, their schedules were cleared up almost completely. Almost the entire school had come to see the play, and it went well for the most parts. As he was blinded by the stage light, he couldn’t read people’s expressions during the play, but there seemed to be laugh, applause and sobbing in the right places. After the play he sought his friends.

“It was  _ AMAZING,  _ Jake! Your chemistry on  stage was everything! You were great!” Charles praised him.

“I’m pretty sure I saw Amy full-on cry in the end,” Gina said.

“Who can blame  her? I did too,” Charles admitted.

“She saw the play?”

“Jake, I’m pretty sure the whole school is here. Even if it weren’t, it’s Amy.  Of course she’d watch a free play if she had the chance!” Gina said.

“True.” She would never miss a chance to watch any play. Especially if it were free. She hadn’t got the opportunity a lot since she had so many siblings, but she absolutely loved it the few times she watched professional plays.

“Hey Jake, are you coming?” Sophia had come from the group of cast members standing not-so-far-away.

“Sure, two sec” He replied and she turned back to the group. She was gone as quick as she came.

“Where are you going?” Charles asked, looking somewhat jealous.

“We’re going out post play to kind of congratulate ourselves, you know? We did it! So, we’re celebrating! Okay see you guys,” And he was gone as well. He could hear Charles say something, but he was too far away to make out the words. It was nice, having other friends to go out with as well. Not that he didn’t have friends before, he got along with practically everyone, but he found it hard to find people that had the same sense of community. What he liked about his friend group was that everyone was so different and everyone got along, and it was the same case in the theater club. They had common ground in regards to acting, but everyone preferred different styles, movies, genres and had other hobbies as well. Well, Jake didn’t really have anything outside theater, but most of the others had something to do with music or dance as well. So, he enjoyed the rest of the cold afternoon with his  _ other _ friends, sometimes wishing Charles, Gina or Rosa were there. Hell, he even  _ kind of _ wanted Amy to be there as well. 

As they hung out at a waffle house a bit later than he would like to admit, he realized that his other friends not being there was a good thing. He got to experience something else, got to know the others better. He learned that Sophia hated action movies but loved romances, Terry loved superhero movies and Mark loved action.

_ Amy loved classics. Pride and Prejudice, you’ve got mail,  _ _ star wars _ _ and the sound of music were just some of those he remembered watching with her. Watching her watch the movie until she noticed and hit him with a pillow. _

\--

It was a few days after the play, and Jake was meeting with Sophia soon. They were going to the movies to watch a movie he couldn’t remember the name of. It didn’t matter as he barely watched the movie. The movie had played a lot before and it was late, so it was just Jake and Sophia watching a movie. Sophia watching half a movie. Jake got up when the movie was about halfway in, going to the row behind her. She hadn’t noticed as she was focused on the movie playing, so when he touched her shoulder she jumped lightly in her seat.

“Wha-?” she was cut off by a kiss. He held a hand on her cheek as they kissed, but he parted not long after and sat back in the seat behind her. As she opened her mouth to complain, but he cut her off.

“I’m trying to watch a movie” he smiled. She grinned back at him with bright eyes.

\--

When he came home, he couldn’t help smiling. He probably, no, definitely looked pretty dumb, but he was enchanted by the night. He never understood how people could not remember which movies they’d watched in the cinema, but he had already forgotten the plot and actors of the one they had just “watched”. When he opened the door, he was immediately greeted by his mother.

“Amy’s in your room. She wanted to talk to you so I said you would be home soon, is that okay?” She asked. He realized that he never actually told his mother that they weren’t together anymore, but that wasn’t important. Why was she here?

“Yeah that’s fine, thanks” he said and headed to his room. He opened the door slowly.

“Hey Amy?” She was sitting on the bed, standing up when she saw him. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, her whole body shaking. He closed the door behind him as she rushed to him and slung her arms around his waist and he held her. He didn’t know what to do. What are you supposed to do when your ex-girlfriend shows up in your room crying? What do you do when she hugs you the  moment she sees you?

“I- I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice shaking. After what felt like forever, she took a step back, looking him in the eye. 

She took a deep breath, still lightly shaking. “There’s no easy way to say this,”

She had made some distance between them, glanced at the door behind him. She met his eyes.

“I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
> 
> I'm sorry


	8. When I was drowning (that's when I could finally breathe)

“I’m pregnant.” 

“ _What?!”_ Jake exclaimed, making her cover her eyes. She didn’t want to say it again, she didn’t want it to be true. She had suspected it for a few weeks, but she had been too scared to take a test. When she did take the test, she had been too scared to look at it. Until now. She didn’t cry on the way to his house, she didn’t cry when his mom answered the door. It was when she had gone inside his room that smelled like home to her. Once the waterworks started, they didn’t stop until she heard him in the hallway. 

“That’s uh cool. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoo-” 

“Jake, calm down. I’m not asking you to be part of their life, I just thought I’d give you the chance” 

She desperately wanted to run out the door, but she had to stay. They had to talk it out, she needed to talk it out. She let him have a moment to catch his breath and she sat back down on his bed. 

“So, you’re keeping it?” He sat down as well, though not as close as he once did. 

“I am.” she wiped a tear away from her cheek. He nodded. 

“What about college? Do your parents know?” 

“I- I don’t know. I hope I can still get a degree, maybe even get it earlier. My parents are going to kill me! I don’t know how to tell them,” 

“How, uh, far along are you?” She had done the math. She would be about 16 weeks by now. 4 months. Almost halfway. Second trimester. _It_ was the size of an avocado. 

“About 4 months, I think. I’m showing a bit, too” That made him look down on her stomach. She knew it wasn’t visible as she wore primarily sweaters a little too big. 

“That’s... far.” she nodded in agreement. Too far for her to be okay with abortion, she was beginning to feel the living _thing_ that was growing inside her. 

“I should go...” she said after an awkward pause. He didn’t stop her when she stood up, so she just went home, trying to sound normal when she exchanged goodbyes with his mom. 

\--- 

She didn’t want to tell her parents while her brothers were there. At all. She cared for them, but she wouldn’t like to constantly have them up in her business. Turns out it’s hard to find both parents at once without one of her seven brothers being there. After a few days she found them when her brothers had all retreated to their rooms after dinner. They were sitting in the couch doing their own separate things, looking up at her as she took seat as well. They looked questionably at her. 

“I wanted to tell you something-” She began. 

“You’re not pregnant, right?” Her father cut her off. Her mother bashed him. 

“Of course she isn’t, they broke up months ago!” 

“Very sensitive, mom. About that...” She fiddled with her hands as she spoke, and she knew her father had noticed that. He was a detective, after all. She couldn’t hide anything from him if she tried. 

“I am pregnant.” She braced herself for the worst, and her mother began telling her off. After two intense minutes of her mother screaming at her and attracting attention from her siblings, she calmed down. Her father hadn’t done anything to stop her, he’d told the brothers to leave when they occasionally peeked from the hallway. 

“It’s your mistake and you’re owning up to it! You can’t just take its life; every conceived child is meant to be!” Her mom added, her nostrils still flaring and her eyes wide. She had heard her tell her brothers off like this before, but Amy hadn’t been in much trouble before, so she didn’t know what it was like. 

“I know I’m keeping it! I just don’t know what I’m going to do with college,” she said suggestively. She wanted and needed advice on where to go from there. 

“You’re going to have to figure that out yourself. I’m not going to raise another child. And frankly, I can’t stand looking at you anymore! You will have to move out!” Her father tried to argue with her, but it didn’t matter. It was not his choice to make. The fact that she was being kicked out of her own home sent shivers down her spine and her throat felt uncomfortably dry. 

“I’m going to go pack” she said, her voice cracking. Her father looked sympathetically at her while her mother looked stone cold. She sat straight with a frown and wide eyes, not a tear in sight. So she just packed. 

\--- 

**Amy:** I told my parents … they kicked me out. 

**Jake:** Srry to hear 

**. . .**

**Jake:** U can stay her for a while if ud like 

Under normal circumstances she would have commented on his spelling, but this was as far from the ordinary as it could be. 

**Amy:** Thank you. When can I come over? 

**Jake:** When u want. Were open 24/7 baby ;) 

**Amy:** Coming soon. 

**Jake:** Cya 

\--- 

I didn’t take long for her to pack everything into her suitcase. She didn’t have a lot, and that was by choice. She had what was necessary for her. After hugging her father for a while and assuring him she’d call, she left into the night, leaving everything she’d known and found safety in behind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have very much time to write anymore, so I don't know if or when I'm going to update this. Sorry!!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated! I'm working on the next chapters.


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